Are Marriage relationships to be built?

There is a lot of talk these days about marriage and how difficult it can be.  Everywhere you turn, someone is talking about how many marriages are failing.  How divorce is soaring, even in the "church".  Some folk even believe that the marriage covenant isn't necessary in this day and age.  Many feel that the marriage license , the papers,  is where the problem lies.

Those of us who believe in the sanctity of marriage are perplexed about all this.  We don't understand why our marriages are failing, and we are trying to figure out what's going on!  Some pastors are preaching that it's because we dont "interview" our prospective mates! We don't know what we're getting! We don't find out their views on money, children, work, business, family, etc.  Some pastors are saying that we are letting carnality lead us in choosing our mates--we are looking at whether they look good, have money or prestige. Some experts are saying that those we are choosing are not emotionally whole-- we're not finding out if the prospect has any issues--like anger, greediness, selfishness, hatred, etc.  The implication is that we should  eliminate these types from our pool of choices.

I have trouble with this. Mainly because I fit into many of these categories!  Don't we all have some issue or another?  Is a marriage relationship something that should be perfect and complete from day one?  Isn't a relationship built over time? As a married woman, I know that the marriage relationship is something that must be developed. It takes a lot of emotional work and prayer to make it work.
If we accept what the "experts" tell us are the proper criteria, then no one would qualify for marriage! 
Let me propose something.  As Christians we already have the solution to build a great marriage with the mate of our dreams. 

First, God is our foundation on which to build a good, satisfying marriage. That means that at the start of that marriage, there's nothing much there.  The foundation must  be set in place.  Then if we trust in the Lord and follow His precepts, we will be victorious in all things.  It's God who guides us in everything to develop our relationship with our mate.  When we as weak humans run into disagreements, we look to what the Word says, we follow it, and things come back together.  When we have doubts about each other, we take our burdens to the Lord in prayer and find out what the Word says.   When we are angry at each other, we take our troubles to God and do what He says concerning anger. We forgive each other. If we follow Christ in all our ways, we will practice love and forgiveness in all our ways to the best of our ability.  God will bless our efforts, and we will see victory in our marriages, despite our issues, weaknesses, and problems.   It's not wise to think that we should be compatible in everything.

 We are individuals and that means we see things differently one from the other.  We ought not to expect to agree on everything.  We ought to expect that at times we won't be happy with each other.  That's not a reason to fall apart but to do what God says and forgive. In going through the issues of marriage, our relationship grows. We develop patience and love and appreciation for each other.  The "experts" say we won't have to go through too many trials, if we choose correctly.  God says that we are victorious in Him in all our ways, despite problems. 

I'm going to continue to go God's way so my marriage will continue to blessed!  Amen.

What Version of the Bible do You Prefer?

I'm a book lover!  I'm known to go to bookstores and browse so long the staff start eyeing me suspiciously.  My favorite book is definitely my Bible and  I tend to act the same way in my neighborhood Bible bookstore   as I do in other bookstores.  I've gone to Tammy's Bible bookstore here in Oakland California and have lingered there for hours making comparisons from one version of the Bible to the next.  The sales lady is so kind and curteous and helpful! I wonder what she thinks about me when I end up on the floor looking at the Christian literature and comparing the writing styles, understanding of scripture, maturity level, humbleness, openess, etc of the different authors? I'm a mess, but I want books by people who are real about the Lord and their journey!  I feel a little bit strange, but what can I say?  I love the Word of God and others' assessments, testimonies and understandings of what's in the Word.

My little bookstand is full of all my versions and whatever other book I'm reading at any particular time.When it comes to versions of the Bible, I can't choose just one.  I love the King James Version for it's poetic style and I love the New King James because it breaks down some of those old words while keeping some of the poetry.  I love the New Standard Revised edition because the sentence structure is reworked and reads in an interesting way.  I like the Message because of its American idiomatic style (I dislike it for the same reason), I like my New Living Translation  Life Application Bible because it breaks down the historical, political and social settings in the different time periods and because it gives a synopsis of the personalities of the Bible.  But my favorite version is the Amplified because it breaks down the Greek and Hebrew meaning of certain words within the text itself which helps my understanding of the original meaning of the Scripture.
So there it is, my chaotic little Bible study! Trying to grab all the meaning I can, yet only understanding what God gives to me day by day!
What are your favorite versions of the Bible?

Solomon's Rant

At this time I am studying the book of Ecclesiastes. I probably have read the entire book of Ecclesiastes only once or twice. It seemed so depressing to me, so I just skipped over it pretty much.

Since I have returned to the Lord and am seeking a deeper relationship with Him, I have decided that I need to make the effort to study those books of the Bible that are difficult for me.  I will rely on the Holy Spirit to help me with my understanding.
In reading the book of Ecclesiastes, I see the life and thoughts of a King who had it all and lost it all! According to the book of 1 Kings, King Solomon was blessed by God with wisdom and riches. He had more wisdom than anyone before or since. God granted him the assignment to build His Temple and 
Solomon made sure to use the very best of everything in building it. The Temple took seven years to build and was magnificent in every respect. Solomon was also known far and wide and many came to hear the wisdom of Solomon, including the Queen of Sheba who was definitely highly impressed.

But Solomon went against the Wisdom of God and made a decision to disobey the Lord.  That decision lead him down a path of total disobedience and abandonment of the Lord. He married many wives from the tribes of peoples that God had forbidden the Israelites from marrying. He had 700 wives of royal blood and 300 concubines! He also built shrines for his wives to worship their pagan gods.  Eventually, Solomon's wives seduced him away from his God and into idolatry. At the end of his life Solomon is upset that all the pleasure that he sought after didn't make him happy.  It seems that the King is bewildered that with all that he had and all that he accomplished he had no joy.
The one thing he didn't indulge in was developing a deep relationship with the God of Israel!  In the Book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon rants (in my opinion) alot about all the things that people would seek after "under the sun" and he concludes in disgust that it is all vanity and chasing after the wind! He doesn't talk much in that book about seeking after the Lord his God with all of his heart, soul and mind, as his father David did in the Psalms.  He does conclude in the end that we should fear God and keep His commandments because He will judge all things whether good or evil. 
I wonder if King Solomon truly got it.  He lived a life of self indulgence and disobedience and in the end God punishes Solomon for all the wrong he did.  At the end of his life and in the book of Ecclesiastes it seems that Solomon is upset that he wasn't able to continue to enjoy all his seeking after lust and pleasure, because he doesnt seem to repent in a meaningful way as far as I can see. 
So we see that great wisdom does not add up to Godly Wisdom, and the wisdom of man does not compare in any way to God's Wisdom.  God is Omniscient, Omnipotent and Omnipresent and graciously allows us to partake in His goodness through Jesus Christ!  If we wisely follow after Him with all of our hearts and minds, we will have everlasting joy and won't be seduced by the vain pleasures of this world as Solomon was!

Confessions of Power

It is always important to pray.  As we know, prayer changes things.  Personally, whenever I pray regularly, I feel God's power in my life.  There is something about God's Word coming forth from my own mouth that makes my problems subside. My issues subside. My pain diminishes. Whenever I let the things of life take me away from regular prayer, those same problems grow in power in my mind.  I start focusing on my issues. I start feeling pain and it seems to grow in power.  I have a few prayer books, and many versions of the Bible, the Amplified being my favorite, and I copied these Bible Scriptures from a book called Prayers that Rout demons, by John Eckhardt. I like his compilation of Scriptures because they focus on "engaging the enemy".  The Bible tells us to "resist the devil and he will flee from us" James 4:7. 
God has graciously given us access to great power through His Word spoken out in prayers to Him.  I'm thankful to Him for providing exactly what I need to survive and thrive in this world. 
Speak out loud the following confessions and plug in the God's power source for your life!

No weapon formed against me shall prosper, and every tongue that rises against me in judgement I condemn (Isa. 54:17)

I am established in righteousness, and oppression is far from me (Isa 54:14)
The weapons of my warfare are not carnal but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds (2 Cor. 10:4)
I take the shield of faith, and I quench every fiery dart of the enemy (Eph 6:16)
I take the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, and use it against the enemy (Eph 6:17)
I am redeemed from the curse of the law. I am redeemed from poverty. I am redeemed from sickness. I am redeemed from spiritual death (Gal 3:13)
I overcome all because greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world (1 John 4:4)
I stand in the evil day having my loins girded about with truth, and I have the breastplate of righteousness. My feet are shod with the gospel of peace. I take the shield of faith. I am covered with the helmet of salvation, and I use the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God (Eph 6:14-17)
I am delivered from the power of darkness and translated into the kingdom of God's dear Son (Col 1:13)
I tread upon serpents and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt me (Luke 10:19)
I do not have the spirit of fear but power, love, and a sound mind (2 Tim 1:7)
I am blessed with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ Jesus (Eph 1:3)
I am healed by the stripes of Jesus (Isa 53:5)
My hand is upon the neck of my enemies (Gen 49:8)
You annoint my head with oil; my cup runs over. Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life (Ps 23:5-6)
I am anointed to preach, to teach, to heal, and the cast out devils.
I receive abudance of grace and the gift of righteousness, and I reign in life through Christ Jesus (Rom 5:17)
I have life and that more abundantly (John 10:10)
I walk in the light as He is in the light, and the blood of Jesus cleanses me from all sin (1 John 1:7)
I am the righteousness of God in Christ (2 Cor 5:21)
I am the head and not the tail (Deut 28:13)
I shall decree a thing, and it shall be established in my life (Job 22:28)
I have favor with God and with man (Luke 2:52)
Wealth and riches are in my house, and my righteousness endures forever (Ps 112:3)
I will be satisfied with long life and God will show me His salvation (Ps 91:16)
I dwell in the secret place of the Most High, and I abide under the shadow of the Almighty (Ps 91:1)
No evil will befall me, and no plague shall come near my dwelling (Ps 91:10)
My children are taught of the Lord, and great is their peace (Isa 54:13)
I am strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man (Eph 3:16)
I am rooted and grounded in love (Eph 3:17)
I bless my natural enemies, and I overcome evil with good (Matt 5:44)

Angry Black Women, period.

I'm thinking about this issue of black women anger. Specifically, an anger brought on by self rejection. I recently did a post about a sister who is very angry at black people in general and black women in particular. Even as I read some of her posts, I sensed an attitude of disgust in the black woman, as she is.  I assume that the sister is well educated and have had many negative encounters with black people.  (deleted information)

Now I've come across some angry women bloggers in my short time in the blogosphere.  Many of us are simply processing our negative emotions as a part of our healing experience and our maturing in this world which can be cruel just for cruelty's sake.   Black women of every generation have questions about life and what we see as our difficulties, and we have frustrations that sometimes make us angry!  That's understandable and reasonable.  But in asking the hard questions, we ought to be able to listen to the answers that wisdom bring. Should we be humble enough to listen?  Some of us will never get the answers we desperately are seeking, simply because of PRIDE!

What we ought never to do is to turn frustration back on ourselves. We ought not attack ourselves! We should never agree that we are inferior in any way shape or form! We cannot chase after others' identities to replace our own that we refuse to accept.  We simply cannot deny ourselves and our souls! As black women, we have to be open to ourselves.  We can't be self denying and expect to move forward in this world! We can't deny our history or our experiences as women, neither good nor bad, and expect to "Make It" in this world.  Further, we must EMBRACE ourselves, our culture, our past, our joys and difficulties, and NURTURE the good stuff and WORK THROUGH the difficult stuff!
Black women, we have a beautiful outer and inner culture! We don't need to be like some other women! We can be ourselves, and that's beautiful!  When I go on a sister's blog and "listen" to her words about herself, that's beautiful! If she needs encouragement it's beautiful if I can encourage her.  If she encourages me by her words, that's beautiful to me. If she expresses her anger and I interject something that makes her say, OK, that's beautiful. If she inspires me it's all good! If I'm angry and she says something that calms me, good! All of our issues, all of our heartaches, all of our pain, all of our joy, all of our accomplishments, EVERYTHING that we are is beautiful in God's sight and HE LOVES US!

I commented in a strong way on sister (deleted) blog.  I felt I was speaking the truth (as I see it) Either I was overstepping my bounds in "her house" or the truth hurts alot! So she believes she effectively put me in my place as the "ignorant black woman who doesnt move outside of a "black construct"--NOT! I'm from the "ghetto" of San Francisco, CA! I worked in the SF Public library for 15 years and in Stacey's Bookstore for 10 years and met many people with differing opinions about our condition and I've met many races of people and have interacted with many nationalities and am confident and comfortable with them!!  But you couldn't get me to deny my ghetto roots! Whenever I come accross a sister who speaks strongly, I speak just as strongly from my perspective, but not condescendingly (I believe). I always assume that people who dish it can take it, but that's not true always, because she blocked and banned me from commenting or even accessing her blog!!

I don't think that I will become that person who doesn't speak out strongly about issues that affect me (putting down black women is one) so I may offend other folks in the future (not intentionally though).  I'm going to keep on speaking in the blogosphere and I look forward to continuing to "hear" all  of your voices! That's why my Google reader is overstuffed! :-)  Blessings   (end of rant)

KREATIV BLOGGER AWARD!!

Hey everybody! I was given the Kreativ Blogger Award by my sister TonyR at Well Watered Woman! I love taking regular dips at her well because I know I will be inspired and reminded of God's Love for me! Check out her blog when you need encouragement and when you think you don't and allow God's love to refresh you, just like a cool glass of water on a hot summer day!


Here are the rules:
1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award
2. Copy and paste the award on your own blog
3. Link the person who nominated you.
4. Name seven things about yourself that folks may not know.
5. Nominate seven Kreativ bloggers
6. Post links to the seven bloggers you nominate
7. Leave comments on each of the blogs letting them know that you have nominated them!


Okay, seven things about me that you may not know:
1. I'm a book-a-holic since the age of 5 and my mother is to blame.
2. I love Nigerian food (maybe too much)
3. I love Mexican food (maybe too much)
4. I love the Discovery channel when they talk about big equipment and beautiful architecture and building bridges across the Bering Strait and all the BIG stuff!
5. I love shopping for designer labels at thrift shops, and I'm good at it!
6. I love all things thrift, natural, inexpensive, harmonious, sustainable.
7. I love, love, love seeing folks break down barriers between themselves and reach over to love each other!


Okay, the seven bloggers I love the best:
1. The Old Black Church by Ann Brock because this sister keeps us up to the MINUTE on the things going on in the popular world culture and church culture and she allows us to comment and discuss the issues of our time in an intelligent way, and from our informed Christian perspective.


2. Adult Rhymes: A Look Into Reality by NoThink4Me because this sister is completely sold out to Jesus and she will not compromise her salvation for anyone or anything in this world. She definitely knows her way around the Bible and her interpretation makes me rethink everything I think I know as a baby Christian!!
She's a full grown woman of God!


3. Imperfect Mom of Two by Thandi because this young women is so inspiring to me.  She's on an important life journey and obviously learning so much about herself and her strength.  She and her husband are ministering to women who have been widowed in Southern Africa. I especially loved her last post when she said her children ask her questions about Heaven and chant memory verses and sing Christian songs in their father's language of Ndebele instead of fictitious songs (they don't know any)!


4. His Grace To Me by Ann because here is a sister who lives such a beautiful obviously fulfilled life.  She's a homesteader and homeschools her children.  She has a fantastic garden (oh how I envy her) and obviously is in love with God!  I love reading about all the wonderful things she's been blessed with.  Living life simply and on purpose and being the keeper of her home is her calling and I'm blessed that she shares her life with me through her blog! (Oh, also with you)


5. All These Things  by Rev. Mike because he's an honest brother with an open heart for the Lord.  He's obviously on his journey with God and is His true disciple.  He's also humble and a post he wrote "Following My Wife's Spirit" really reminded me of how God can use someone who is not focused on the "religiosity" of this world and age.  I appreciated the post so much and I appreciate his blog as well!


6. Trey Morgan.net by Trey Morgan because he's hilarious!  Comedy in the Body of Christ!  This brother is
a true disciple of Christ as well and I love hearing the male perspective--things that men like and love being told to us from a man with the heart of God in him!  His post on "What would Jesus Tweet" is too much!


7. Godamongus  because Godamongus' blog is so very thought provoking.  It teaches us about our Lord from the perspective of someone with a scientist's mind.  I appreciate this because we know that many in the science world don't believe in the existence of God, but instead believe in their own theories about the "known" universe! Godamongus breaks down the verses of the Bible and shows the correlations between what "science" discovers and what God already told us!


Okay!  That's my take on who's blogging at this time!   Thanks again, sister TonyR for the award!
Blessings

Angry black women bloggers

I was happily skipping along my Blogger dashboard, reading my subscription updates and reading other folks blog lists, when I happened upon a blog with a title that pulled me in.  It was very very attractive and challenged black women to positive self analysis.  So I went on and started looking around. It seemed very good from first glance and of course me being who I am, I put forth my comment to the first post I read.  Very interesting reading.  Very deep.  Then I went on the the next post.
There was a little bit of anger towards black women that was apparent to me and I posted in a way that would remind us to be kind as we instruct each other.
I moved on to another post.  A brother had the nerve to comment. Obviously, being new to the site, I don't know the politics of it as yet.  But this brother semed to be asking permission to post and was humble or faking humble as a way to be sarcastic.  But the sister ripped into him like a lion rips into a gazelle in the jungle!  All I could see in my mind's eye was blood on the floor where that brother once stood! The sister seemed to be extremely angry at everything and let her anger rip--deserved or undeserved--into that brother.


This sister displayed the kind of anger just in her response that made me feel bad for her even as she blogged about anger issues among black women, in addition to other issues.  I did not feel good after reading that attack as I see it.  She even said that she's a minister and will pray with us if needed!  I don't pretend to not understand that many of our sisters have extreme anger issues and much of it aimed at black men.  I understand the dynamics that created these issues among us. We all know that slavery was a harsh, brutal system that degraded our men and abused our women and many of us still suffer the psychological effects of it to this day.  The current economic situation insures that many black men (and women) won't have jobs so as to take care of their families and by extension, hold up their heads with pride.  What troubles me is that many black women, when they look at their men and compare them to the dominant culture's men, they see their men losing in the economic arena.  These sistas, as I see it, lose all hope for the black man and become disgusted and angry at him for something he had no control over. They may not be able to see those brothers that are working it out and give him props. They may tend to isolate themselves in "women groups" that uplift themselves, as they see it, or they start looking to the dominant culture's men as their goal for a mate, instead of their own black men.  As I see it, they have internalized the dominant culture's negative view of black folks and now they can no longer stand the black man and even the black woman.   They are constantly trying to "prove" that they are not like the rest of them black folks.  As I looked at a few more pages of the blog, there even seemed to be a desperation about black women fighting as hard as possible to measure up! Almost everything about you is deficient!! It's very dangerous to the soul to compare one's self negatively to any other person or people.  We black folks have many strengths that God has blessed us with! The thing that bothers me is the arrogance that some of these sisters have that says they can "better" themselves, but the brothers, to them, aren't able to "better" themselves as well!  Why not fight together to better us all!?! Now that's a fight worth getting into!


This brings me to black female - male relationships.  First let me say that I have not one thing against interracial marriage and relationships. Two emotionally strong people of different races who love each other should get together.  In this world, they need to be able to overcome the negativity that still exists against interracial couples.  On the other hand, I do have something against black folks who go into interracial relationships because of self hatred.  Concerning black female - male relationships: if slavery destroyed our relationships, should we try to rebuild them now that we're out of slavery? I understand that black women have suffered a lot at the hand of black men and vice versa. But should we harbor hatred, distrust, and disrespect forever against each other?  I know that there are many black women and black men in marriages that are thriving and they have build families that are thriving.   I was excited about the sister's site because I thought that she was going to intelligently instruct us sistas on how to be real about our own issues regarding how we relate to black men.
I assumed that she was already "together" herself and was able to see our situation for what it is and would be able to help us sistas to work on ourselves where we may need it. None is perfect and we all need help!  We look to those wise persons who are able to overcome their own negative emotions of their youth and instruct in love.  Unfortunately, I was disappointed by this sista who falsely portrayed herself as a wise women.  Any woman who is stuck in extreme anger is not truly wise and ought not try to instruct other women.

We as black folks have to learn to be wise and the only way to get true wisdom is from God Himself!  The Word of God is full of the wisdom that leads to success in every area and IF we will humble ourselves and eat of the Bread of Life--study God's Word and DO WHAT IT SAYS, we will be successful in our relationships within our race, with other races and peoples, between men and women, youth and elders and every type of relationship there is!  People, give me some feedback concerning your take on black male female relationships! Be kind and wise!  Blessings